Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
