i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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