let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They have beer where we have blood.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
