i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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