haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
