so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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