Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i came on her dog
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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