I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.