Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
