The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito