So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship