Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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(641): View more from Iowa

I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

(262): View more from Wisconsin

how else could I explain the last few years

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

Now it's a party.

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(276): View more from Virginia

You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again

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