you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again