I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?