I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.