I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?