I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
