ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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