hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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