My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you never un-have a 4some
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
