the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
