and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
