I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
