dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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