If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
