How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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