whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
