yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
