im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
