....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
