i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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