ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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