I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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