How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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