Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i've created a new STD.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
