went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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