She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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