the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
