So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
