It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You ruined the universe
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
