Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
