No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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