i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
