found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
