Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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