Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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