Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
