so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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