Your face is a jimmy john
her vagine was all disorganized.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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