Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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