Porn is love you can see.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
