i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize