Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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