Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize