Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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