im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize