awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
