if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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