i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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