I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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