one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
